this temptation

I've copied all of my MySpace poetry to a new blog. The link is over on the right. Check it out if you want.

My entire family is gone this weekend, so I have the house all to myself. My parents are in Nashville for Jocelyn's colorguard thing, and Larry is somewhere in Arkansas for baseball. It's just me and Kiwi. I've never noticed how huge our house is before now. I guess it's probably due to the fact that I decided to clean the entire house this weekend, and I'm now fully appreciating the amount of work I have ahead of me. But I'm nearly halfway done, and I'm having fun, so it's all good.

Last weekend I decided to take a break from going out. It's just not as fun as it used to be, and I hate going out and being disappointed. Hopefully a few weeks away will make me enjoy it again. So my family is gone, Jon is off camping this weekend, my bosses and one co-irker are on vacations, I'm not going out at all with the girls, and I'm completely alone all weekend. It's nice to finally have some peace and quiet.

I think I'm gonna go to Las Vegas sometime this summer. My older brother was supposed to come to Springfield in June for my wedding, but since it's cancelled, I don't know if he is still planning on coming. And I haven't seen him in forever, and he's getting married soon, and it's been years since I went to Vegas, and I'm 21 now so I can do everything there, and I think I really need to get away from Springfield for a while to recharge. (Holy run on sentences, Batman!)

I finished 2 poems the other day. They're up on MySpace. Jon said he likes them. :-)

Blegh. I hate this. I've started 5 poems in the last 2 weeks, and I'm completely stumped. I'm afraid I'll never finish them. It's almost as if my brain can only be creative for a limited number of words, and then it just kinda stops.

But the funny thing is that I'm back in the kitchen in full force again. I spent 7 hours yesterday making candy and cookies for the debaters, and I felt like I couldn't get enough of it. I just keep getting more ideas on recipes and ways to alter them, and I'm afraid my creativity may have shifted from poetry to food. Not like it's a bad thing, though. Well...unless I decide to eat all the stuff I make.

I was at MSU last night to judge IEs, and I brought my leather jacket (the really nice one made from lambs). It was pretty cold outside. I didn't end up judging anything due to my affiliations with both Kickapoo and Greenwood, so I basically just hung out with various people. At one point, I went up to the balconyish second floor of Craig Hall to talk with Brandy before awards. I stood at the edge of the balcony the entire time, watching my coat and purse (which I'd left in a chair with all of the Greenwood team's stuff - including laptops and many other personal items). When Jon informed me that awards were about to begin, I took one last look to make sure my stuff was still there. It was. However, in the 20 seconds it took me to get down the stairs, my favorite jacket had disappeared. I haven't seen it since. Nothing else was missing from the Greenwood kids' stuff...no laptops, coats, purses, or anything. Just my jacket. I am sick about it. My mom (who bought the jacket) told me this morning that she would have never spent that much money on herself, but she bought the jacket for me only because I loved it so much. And now it's gone. Ugh...I'm gonna start crying again.

Words cannot describe the pure joy I feel right now. I have been extremely happy for the last week, and I can't really pinpoint the source of my happiness. And the best part of it is that I really don't care why I'm happy...I'm just grateful that I am.

It could be the recent decision I've made to be a bit more private about a few things. I used to tell everyone everything about my life, and now I'm finally seeing the value of privacy. And some secrets are just too good to share with anyone else. It's nice to not feel the need to tell my friends every juicy detail in order to relive an experience. I feel strangely liberated.

I wish I was writing more poetry though. That's the downside of happiness: I'm too busy enjoying it to write. Meh, I'm not gonna be all sad about it. :-)