this temptation

7 events is a lot for a tournament. The only thing worse is 8 events...at State. And I think I'm heading in that direction. I'm probably gonna die trying, but I figure I should pour myself into this while I still can and help out my team as much as possible during my final State appearance.

Curt offered me the GA position last night, and I have until tomorrow to decide if I want it. I never considered getting my Master's before, but some part of me wants to go for it. I never thought I could really leave the world of forensics, and I'd always wanted to help coach after I graduated, but now I'm not so sure. Don't get me wrong, I still love the idea of coaching, but I just have a hard time believing that the people on this team could respect me as a coach or even listen to my advice, even if I had the official position. Jon is leaving behind some pretty big shoes to fill, and I'm more than a little concerned that I'd fail miserably, at least compared to him.

I haven't written anything in a while. I guess my thoughts are just too fractured and confused to put down on paper. It would just end up a horrible mess. Things have been extremely topsy-turvy in my life for the past, oh, week and a half. I don't think I can really explain why, but it seems as though every facet of my life is being altered in one way or another, and I'm being forced to question things that were previously so simple and clear. I'm not sure where I stand with several people right now, and the hardest thing for me to admit is that I'm honestly not sure where I stand with myself.